Posted on 30 September 2004 @ 22:49 in Personal
Someone just told me God is nuts about me. What a lovely thought.
Well, I’m nuts about someone, too. And it hurts that they don’t care about me as much as I care about them. (It’s only one person but using the plural “they” hides a lot of details … )
Which got me thinking. Well, a lot of times, I go about my life behaving like He doesn’t exist. Don’t talk to Him, don’t spend time with Him … only go to Him when I mess things up. And when He graciously rescues me, I turn around and wilfully ignore Him again.
And I wonder, how long is this going to go on? As in, how can He continue to love me unconditionally when I keep hurting and disappointing Him again and again?
How, indeed.
Well, the same person who told me God is nuts about me also said “ofcourse He cares! He neva stopped.”
She also told me this:
“but He’s also gracious & faithful & His love endures forever.”
His love endures forever.
He showed it when He came down to earth as man and died for me. Died for you, too. Died for all of us.
And if it hurts me that the person I care for … blah blah (I won’t repeat it, just scroll back to the top of this page and read it again if you want) … then how much more it must hurt Him that I ignore Him most of the time.
And while I have considered giving up on this person … well, guess what?
God is not going to give up on me.
In fact, He’s nuts about me.
I should have that written somewhere to remind myself.
The Creator of everything, He who came to earth to die for me … why, He’s nuts about me.
He’s nuts about you, too.
In fact, He’s nuts about each and everyone of us.
*leaves September 2004 with big grin on face*
Personal note to the one who told me God is nuts about me - no, it’s not who you think it is.
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Posted on 29 September 2004 @ 22:43 in Family, Personal
I was just about to reverse the car out of the driveway this morning when my handphone rang. Looked at the hp to see who was calling. GT Heritage. Mother’s nursing home. What are they calling about at this hour of the morning? It was about 7:15 a.m.
Looked around for my BT headset (need to use it with the handphone which is slightly faulty) and realised I didn’t have it anywhere on me or in the car. Rejected the call (sorry ’bout that), and went back in the house to get the headset. Before that, called GT Heritage to see what they wanted.
“Your mother’s Glucosamine and Vitamins C & E last dose today, need to get more …”
Was that all? Phew … I was expecting something worse.
At least the call made me realise I’d left the BT headset in the house, so that I could still get it before I was too far from the house. Or worse, already in the office before I realised it wasn’t anywhere nearby.
I also got to thinking that since I don’t like receiving phonecalls so early in the morning, there must be other people, too, who feel the same way. Especially if the calls are from people they don’t particularly want to hear from.
So yes … no more calls early morning sms’s to a certain someone from now on.
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Posted on 29 September 2004 @ 08:59 in Humour
But it is not me this morning, or any time anywhere.
Shared by Beth Chin - thanks!
More to come!
Later …
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Posted on 28 September 2004 @ 21:42 in Pictures, Stress Busters
Not sure if it’s the same cub as the one posted earlier. But this one gets time with Mummy Hua Mei!
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| The American-born female giant panda Hua Mei puts one of her cubs in the arms at the China Wolong Giant Panda Protection and Research Center in southwest China’s Sichuan Province Sept. 27, 2004.(Xinhua Photo/Chen Xie)
Source: Xinhuanet |
News alert from Christina over at Yahoo! Hua Mei.
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Posted on 28 September 2004 @ 12:55 in Writing
Three days to registration, 34 days to the first word tapped out on my Dana.
NaNoWriMo stands for National Novel Writing Month. For the longest time, I thought “No” stands for November as the challenge takes place in the month of November each year. Duh, Chet - see the banner on the NaNoWriMo homepage?
What’s the challenge about?
Write 50,000 words in 30 days. That’s 1,667 words a day, every day, during the month of November.
Not just any 50,000 words, but 50,000 related words that join together to make sentences, paragraphs, chapters, a story, and eventually a novel by 30 November.
I first tried it in 2002, and fell before the first 2,000 words.
The next year, I registered again, and this time, I persevered. And completed the 50,000 words just a couple of hours before the deadline. I was rewarded with a certificate, a winner’s logo, and the purple “winner” bar below my name whenever I posted at the NaNoWriMo forums.
Close-up of the purple “winner” bar below my name:
One of my posts at the forums:
If you look close enough, you’ll see what the post was about - not about the actual writing, but about the machine that I use to write the 50,000 words. The AlphaSmart Dana. A favourite subject, next to my giant pandas.
Hope I get to repeat my 2003 success again.
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Posted on 28 September 2004 @ 09:37 in Pictures, Stress Busters
So cute …
Christina shared the news over at the Yahoo! Hua Mei group.
To think that the mama herself was about the same size just five years ago:
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| “One of the twin cubs born by the American-born female giant panda Hua Mei sleeps in an attemperator at the China Wolong Giant Panda Protection and Research Center in southwest China’s Sichuan Province Sept. 27, 2004. Giant panda Hua Mei, who did not know how to feed her babies after giving birth to them, learned some basic skills in the nursing of cubs in a 7-day training session held by the staff of the research center. Now, Hua Mei and the personnel of the China Wolong Giant Panda Protection and Research Center take care of the two cubs in alternation of five days. (Xinhua Photo/Chen Xie)” Source: Xinhuanet |
God-willing, I’ll be visiting Hua Mei and her babies next year.
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Posted on 28 September 2004 @ 08:42 in Personal
There’s a massive hole in my heart this morning. Ouch …
But life goes on …
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Posted on 27 September 2004 @ 12:33 in The Working Life
It has been the hottest topic since late July. Colleagues from different departments who hardly know each other and normally not say much more than a hello, were suddenly following their greetings with, “Any news yet?” And the answer would be, “No, not yet.” And if anyone asked me, I’d add, “It doesn’t matter. Whenever it comes out, it’ll be backdated to 1st July, so no worries.”
Last Friday, some of the support staff in my department started whispering, “Eh, such-and-such a department got theirs already, lah.”
This morning, the same support staff came to work looking positively worried. Then, around mid-morning, someone from the HR department came in with a familiar A5-sized brown envelope. A while later, our head of department came out of her room with a stack of white envelopes in her hand, which she proceeded to distribute to each of us. To the Muslim staff she added, “Nah, duit Raya …”
I wasn’t expecting mine. The usual process is for the support staff to receive theirs first, followed by the executive staff’s a month later. This time, probably because it’s SO late, we all got it at the same time.
After which, there were no more worried faces in the department.
What is IT?
Our annual “love letter” from the company, with news about our salary increment and bonus payment.
Pleasant surprise for me?
*nods head enthusiastically*
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Posted on 26 September 2004 @ 18:07 in The Working Life, Writing
Writer’s block implies that you’ve come up against a dead end, or a very thick wall, and there is no way through for the writing that you need to do.
For me, writer’s block is more akin to constipation. The words are in me, but they are just not coming out. Or if they are, they are not coming out right. And I’m feeling very uncomfortable because of it.
I’ve spent much of today trying to write a long overdue proposal for work. I haven’t gone out of the house at all - partly cuz it’s been very hot and sunny since about 9:00 a.m. and I’m not supposed to be out in such weather, but I digress.
I’ve spent the day sitting in front of the computer (and letting myself get distracted cuz the computer has been left online since yesterday evening), walking up and down, sitting in front of the telly (hoping for inspiration?), taking short-short naps (in the hope that the entire proposal will come to me in a dream and I’d wake up to transcribe it down?), and staring into space. Despite such un-worklike behaviour, I’d like to think that my brain has been working at processing all the various bits and pieces it has about the paper I have to write.
And now, I think I’ve made a breakthrough.
The words are finally coming together, the sentences flowing from my fingertips and making sense.
For me, the first word, phrase, or sentence has to make sense, and I think what I’ve written so far - about a page or 231 words - is finally making sense.
The proposal will be completed tonight.
Oh yah, I know. Sunday is supposed to be a day of rest. It’s been Sunday for a long time for me - whether it’s really Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday … am I making sense? Yeah, my life is quite messed-up.
Later …
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Posted on 25 September 2004 @ 22:20 in Health
On my desktop calendar at work, certain dates are highlighted with a tiny fluorescent pink dash. Those are the days I have to take my 5mg Prednisolone tablet. I call them my Prednisolone Days. Prednisolone is one of two meds I’m taking for my lupus condition. Right now, it’s one 5mg tablet every four days. But there was a time when I had to take four 5mg tablets a day.
Back in 1997, I had a bad lupus flare which involved my lungs, and in order to fight the flare, the doctor had to increase my Prednisolone dosage.
If I remember correctly, at that time, my lupus was in remission and I was taking just one tablet a day, or what is called the basic maintenance dosage. Having that bad lupus flare meant that I was back to square one with Prednisolone. It would be a long time before I was back to one tablet a day. Along the way, at suitable intervals, the dosage was gradually decreased, from four a day to two a day, to one a day, then to one-and-a-half every other day, until finally, today, it is one every four days.
Gradually decreased …
Why didn’t the doctor put me back on one Prednisolone a day after the flare had been contained? Cuz Prednisolone is one of those medications that cannot be stopped abruptly. To do so would’ve brought back the flare that it had just beaten into remission. Strange, but true.
For a long time, I was very comfortable on one Prednisolone every other day. About six months back, my rheumatologist suggested tapering it further to one every three days. I agreed, but within two weeks, I was experiencing more joint pains that I’d felt in quite a while, so I went back to one every two days, and reported the outcome at my next check-up. He said to try again, I did, and this time, my body adjusted to the new dosage interval without further complaint. Two months ago, the new rheumatologist in my life suggested one every four days. Rather reluctantly, I agreed, and was glad when my body did not complain.
Just the other day, at my most recent check-up, Dr Y suggested tapering the Prednisolone dosage even further to one every five days. But it’s only been two months since I went on one every four days …
Er … let’s stick with the one every four days for a while, doc.
Good thing she agreed.
So, I’m still on one 5mg Prednisolone every four days, and one 200mg Plaquenil a day.
Tomorrow is a Prednisolone Day on my calendar. That means one 5mg Prednisolone and one 200mg Plaquenil after breakfast … if I remember. If not, later in the day …
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