Farewell, 2008
I’m sure a lot of people can’t wait for this year to be over. Well, take heart – it will be, in less than 10 hours.
Unfortunately, there is no guarantee that the new year will bring good cheer. Indeed, if the news is anything to go by, it looks like it’s going to be more of the same. Whether we’re going to let it defeat us will depend on how each of us allow it to affect us.
For me, in the last two months of the year, I have found a renewed faith in God. The God I put my trust in is the God who sent His Son on earth to die for all of us. I found this renewed faith through a method that was taught to me as a young Christian many years ago, and one which I’ve neglected in the last decade or more. This method is called “Quiet Time” and it involves showing up for my appointment with God and His Holy Book every day.
I remember finding no solace in reading His Word for a long time. Slightly more than two months ago, I decided to give it another try. I sat down with His Word one day, and with a Bible reading aid and a notebook and a pen. And I’ve been doing that ever since. Not every day, though, but the days when I’ve showed up for my appointment have been more than 80% so I think I can say this is a habit that has taken hold for good.
With this renewed faith in God, I have the assurance that however bad things may get, He is already there. That, for me, is enough. He was there at the beginning of the world, He has been there throughout – through thick and thin, so to speak – and He will continue to be there.
Now, I don’t understand much of what has been going this year – the natural disasters (cyclone in Myanmar followed by earthquake in China), a terrorist attack (Mumbai, India), on-going wars, a major financial fall-out, and fighting again between age-old sworn enemies – and I don’t know why God allows it, but this I know – there is a purpose to it all which is currently hidden from us (and which may remain hidden from us).
For me, there were two events in 2008 that impacted me the most. One was a public event, the other was a private event.
The pyblic event was the devastating earthquake in China that killed thousands of people and put an end to a way of life that I’d been familiar with for the past 8 years and that I’d been privileged to be a part of in 2007. I was hoping that I would be a part of that way of life from last year onwards, but as it turned out, 2007 would be the only year I got to taste the life that I’d often seen in documentaries about giant pandas.
Wolong, the heart of giant panda conservation and research in China, was extensively damaged by the May 12 earthquake. It’s ironic that when I was there last year, there was an earthquake here in Malaysia, nothing major but there were damages to some high rise buildings, and I was worrying about my apartment. I never knew Wolong was situated in an earthquake area, never knew I’d be in any danger. I only knew after the May 12 earthquake. I did find myself wondering how I would’ve fared if I’d been there – would I have made myself useful or would I have been one of those who needed help, perhaps needed to be carried to safety? I’ll never know.
There’s talk of rebuilding Wolong. But even after it’s rebuilt, it would never be the same Wolong I visited in 2007. That way of life is just gone, forever.
The private event was my 50th birthday. I’m 50, half a century old! About an hour before the “event”, I started worrying about turning 50, about what waited for me at the stroke of midnight. But with more than a little help from friends on both Facebook and the flickr Pandas Unlimited group, it turned out to be a pretty awesome celebration. I was swamped with good wishes, and excellent panda graphics, too. To remind myself that it was not a dream, I printed off the birthday thread from the Pandas Unlimited forum, and saved every birthday graphic my panda pals made for me.
In the past year, my circle of panda friends has grown. It used to be mostly members of the Pandas Unlimited group. Since the volunteer trip to Bifengxia in August, my circle of panda friends now includes the volunteers who were there at the same time that I was (Adrienne, Virginia and Doug and Phyllis, and Anneke “Hank”, too). It also includes volunteers who were there after my trip, beginning with Barb who took the trouble to find me online after she read my article in the Pandas International newsletter. Then, there’s the Chinese group (Yang Xin, Annette Yuen and Leo uu) who I share more than a love for giant pandas but also our Chinese heritage, too.
And then, I enlarged my family of adopted pandas this year. At the beginning of the year, there was just Feng Yi, who I’d named Yoong Ping in memory of my niece and for my parents, too. When I returned from Bifengxia, I decided to adopt Gong Zhu who I helped look after when I was there and who I share a very special bond with. Those are my own panda adoptions. There, there are also two shared adoptions – one with the Metal Tribe started by Sandra Miller (Judy Dolan, who I met in Wolong in 2007, is a co-mother of this adoption) and the other, an exclusive adoption with Pandas Unlimited of Wen Yu, whose mother Mao Mao perished in the May 12 earthquake.
How does this year end differ from other years? I think I’m going into the new year more aware. Previously, because I had a 9-to-5 job, there weren’t many challenges, it was just the “same old” waiting in the new year as the old. It was comfortable, the challenges were in doing the same work, perhaps with an overseas trip to look forward to. Now, my life and my time are my own. No more having to wake up early to go to some office to work for someone else. No more needing to get ahead in the “traditional” sense of the word, i.e., getting promoted, better pay, etc. In the non-traditional sense, I still need to get ahead, but for myself, my own peace of mind, specifically my emotional, spiritual and mental wellbeing. Yes, no longer just for my financial wellbeing, that will come after the other three are taken care of.
Goals for the new year? Show up everyday for my appointment with God. Show up on the page as well. And listen to my body more.
Happy New Year, everyone. On the surface, it may not look like a happy new year, but happiness is something we find from inside ourselves and does not depend on outside factors.
I leave you with this image I found on www.art.com while looking for a picture to put on the cover of my home-made 2009 journal. I think it pretty much sums up what I hope to focus on in 2009.
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P/S In the original posting above, I forgot to say anything about my health. I was diagnosed with lupus in 1994 and it’s become so much a part of me that I’ve almost forgotten about it. Well, this year, I found out that my lupus is a joke compared to what other patients have gone through. I bow to them for their will and determination not to let lupus beat them, and I take my inspiration from them, too. However, this doesn’t mean I should not take lupus seriously. It may be in remission, but it’s still there in my body. That’s why I need to learn to listen to my body even more.
