Feeling sad but grateful
If my travel plans have gone as scheduled, right this minute I would be in a room in Xiao Xi Tian inn on Bifengxia Panda Base. I would either be waiting for the water heater to sing and signal that the hot water is ready for my shower, or running a hair dryer over my arms and legs in an attempt to warm up after the shower.
Earlier today, I would’ve visited with birthday boy Mei Sheng and spent some time in his black and white presence, taking lots of pictures to be posted on the Flickr Pandas Unlimited group for fellow panda lovers.
Day after tomorrow, it would be his half-sister Hua Mei’s 10th birthday. But she’s in confinement, having given birth to her seventh cub on 7 July, and I would not be able to visit with her, the way I would’ve done with Mei Sheng.
Then, on Sunday, 23 August, I would be walking up to Leopard Mountain to visit with my adopted panda daughter, Feng Yi, and celebrate her 3rd birthday with her.
But I am not in Bifengxia Panda Base right now, I did not visit with Mei Sheng earlier today, and I would not be celebrating Feng Yi’s birthday with her on Sunday. In fact, I don’t even know if she’s still living on Leopard Mountain with Xi Dou and Si Xue, or whether she has been moved to another enclosure on the Base.
My travel plans have not gone as scheduled, thanks to the H1N1 flu alert. I’m feeling sad that I can’t be in Bifengxia as planned, but at the same time, I’m also grateful for the little nudge from God earlier this year that got me thinking about being there on 12 May, the first anniversary of the earthquake.
Back in September 2007, during my first visit among my beloved bears, I remember promising myself, as soon I stepped into Wolong Panda Centre, that I would return every year from then on, at least once a year.
At least once a year …
I’ve kept this promise twice so far – in August 2008 and in May 2009.
I’ve done my volunteer visit for this year, so I shouldn’t complain.
How was I to know, when the thought came to mind in April this year about being in Bifengxia on 12 May, that a worldwide flu alert later in the year would make it difficult for me to carry out my original travel plans? But He knew.
God knew.
He knew that there would be a flu alert later in the year. I didn’t know, and the thought that came to mind wasn’t really my thought, but His thought that He put there for me. I listened and went through with an earlier visit, thus fulfilling my volunteer trip for this year.
I shouldn’t be greedy. The promise is at least once a year. More would be nice, but in the future, that could happen. Who knows? Right now, I’m sitting here, feeling a little sad but mostly grateful.
